"Why Can't I Ever Be Good Enough?" is about empowerment.

It explores how children are disempowered as a result of their childhood contracts and how as adults, people can learn skills to empower themselves. This book is about how the messages you received in childhood evolved into binding contracts. These contracts became mind-sets that influenced the way you have thought, felt and behaved to this point. This book also addresses the importance of taking care of yourself, not as a selfish act, but as a nurturing experience. It looks at how to listen to your needs and how to receive love from yourself and from others.

By reading this book, you will learn:
A contract in a literal sense is a binding agreement between two parties and is mutual. In this book, a contract is an internal process. As a child, you weighed and measured whatever reactions and responses you received from your family and formulated an idea of what you needed to do in your to get your needs met.

In this context, you made a childhood contract that became a binding agreement with yourself about who you would be and what you would receive in return from your parents as a result - love, acceptance and approval. This contract became an organizing principle that determined how you would operate in your family, and later, in the outside world.

You gave your power away as a result and are still doing so. Look at your relationships - with children, work, love, and friendships. Who has the power? How can you take your power back? Others gave you messages about what was expected and these messages were the foundation blocks that taught you who and how to be. to fit in shaped you. By discovering your childhood messages and the contracts you made as a result, you will be able to determine which ones are working for you and which ones are undermining and disempowering you.

These contracts became powerful mind-sets and operating principles by which you now think, act, feel and behave. They bind you to a life long set of thoughts, feelings and behaviors and as an adult, you continue to play your childhood contracts even when they are not working for you. You do so because you are unaware that you have made contracts. But even when you figure this out, you don't know how to break them. So you keep trying to apply your contracts to all your relationships, trying to get what you need by being who you think you need to be.


Here is an example of a Healthy contract:

Childhood Message: We will always love you because you are you

Childhood Contract: I don't have to try to make you love me. I am accepted and valued as I am.

Adulthood: I am loveable. I don't have to keep proving myself to others in order to get them to love me.

Healthy messages showed you that you were loved, valued and respected. They were grounding and stabilizing and taught you in positive ways about trust and intimacy. They provided an environment of emotional, psychological, and physical well-being and safety within the family. You were taught how to comfort and soothe yourself.


Here is an example of an Unhealthy Contract:

Childhood Message: Be good, do as you are told, don't create any conflict.

Childhood Contract: I will be good, I will do whatever you tell me to do, and you will love me.

Adult: Being good means pleasing others. It means that I will do everything I can in order to avid conflict. I will make sure that everyone is happy. Then everyone will like me.


This child did not receive valuing, was not allowed to express him/herself, felt there was something wrong with him/her and is still trying to be so good so that he/she will be loved.


What are the legacies of all the contracts you are carrying around?

Now you are carrying the wounds from your disappointments and you are very sensitive and easily re-wounded.
But what you need to do is:
ORDER the BOOK